The Princess's Diaries

Thursday, July 07, 2005

My Results

I understand this isn't the most important thing that is happening in the world today, but i thought i'd make a note of it anyway. The exam results were published online and i have mixed feelings. On the plus side, i did really well in my art theory exam - i got 78% when i wasn't expecting much more than about 65. I got a first in my german written coursework and exam, and a mid 2i in the oral work, which was not surprising although i wish they'd give you indication during the year as to how you are doing - i wasn't given any feedback on any of my presentations. My Methods and Processes mark confuses me seeing as we had all our marks back and they averaged at 70.1 but online it gives the figure as 68 - oh well! Disappointment rears its ugly head at the low mark of 55 for my studio pratice. Poor Aslan, you just weren't good enough to impress the judges. I've been looking forward to having a course of almost entirely practice next year and i'm not having second thoughts exactly, but it does make me wonder if i'll get a better mark at the end if i do more theory modules (cos that's what i seem to be good at!) But then maybe my practice will be better if i have more time to devote to it. Ah well, there goes another year of my life, summed up in a few figures :P

Saturday, July 02, 2005

My Captain

Just got back from spending a couple of hours in the 24/7 prayer room at church. The biggest thing i got from it was the sense of intimacy. I felt God's presence instantly. I was kinda expecting it because as Katy drove me to church for my 10pm slot on the way home from Amber's barbeque, I felt God's presence in huge way as i gazed out over the rolling hills and the pink sunset and i absolutely couldn't wait to get in that room and be on my own with him. As soon as i got there he just pulled me straight into his arms and asked me to adore him and then to bring my petitions to him. I prayed a lot about cell. I feel confident that, as a church, we will see a lot of fruit from the prayers lifted up to God in the prayer room.

It's been a few weeks since i last felt excited about Jesus like i have in the last few days and i'm loving it :) This has come from a revelation of my Father's heart. My whole YEAR has been about this and i finally got it (on the same night as the My Jesus My Lifeline post): is God's heart good? Yes! There is a difference between "God is good to me" and "God IS good", because the first really means "God does good things". People who do good things also do bad things. Their goodness isn't guaranteed. But God IS good - he has a good heart.

This is what i have always desired God to be, but perhaps i have seen him as a man like all my other men, who often did good to me but ultimately whose heart was not completely for me. Now i know that God's heart is for me: it is won over, he loves me, he is besotted with me and will never give up on me. His heart is good. I can trust him because his heart remains good forever, despite me. Now i can trust him to be my Captain. He's wild, to be sure, but as the beavers said of Aslan: he's not safe but he is good. Because i know he is good, i will follow him wherever he leads me.