My Adventure

I just want to note down, so that it's official, that i love adventures. God made a me a fairy-tale loving person. They make me ache on the inside.

This is why i love Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and lots of other adventure stories so much that i ache.

My Hope

The Future Glory of Luton (Isaiah 54v11-)

"O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will build you with stones of turquoise,
your foundations with sapphires.
I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.
All your sons will be taught by the Lord,
and great will be your children's peace.
In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you.
If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
whoever attacks you will surrender to you.

This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
and this is their vindication from me,"
declares the Lord

My Dad

Today God, my dad, said to me:

"YOU are my heart's desire."

He's said it to me before. I've always heard it as as "You are my HEART'S DESIRE" which is nice enough, and something that every little girl needs to know from her heavenly daddy.

But I'll tell you what, when i heard it this morning, in the new way, I was blown away. I cried for ages. He said "It's not about the things you do. I want YOU above all else - above your service and works and anything you do for me. I just want your heart."

My Inability to Focus

Why is concentrating so difficult?

Sit down, get out folder, pick up pen, lay paper out on desk...read notes...re-read notes...think about what other work needs doing...make to-do list...make to-do list for non-work tasks...begin to do one of the tasks on the second list...look at notes again...answer one question, leaving ends of sentences unfinished for 'later'...turn on computer...check emails...say hi on msn...look at folder and answer another question, again unfinished...decide 'i can't do this properly until a) i talk to someone in my class who knows, b) i speak to my tutor or c) i get another book out of the library'...get out sketchbook...read through all previous work, for no reason, just like reading it...feel hungry, get food...look at work...panic a bit...decide need sleep, go to bed.

please analyse me someone! why do i do this? why can't i just resolve to do my work and actually do it, without finding distractions or making excuses?

My Two Homes

I travelled home from Luton to Lancaster today. It's funny, calling places home. I think of both Luton and Lancaster as my home. In Lancaster i love living a life independent of my family, having 'my own' home. I love the communities that that i belong to: the art department (and specifically the second year sculpture group!), my church, the community in my house, my cell group. The city is aesthetically lovely and it has a great atmosphere too. I like local famers' markets and eating excellent locally-caught fish in restaurants.

And i love Luton too. It's not that i feel low in Lancaster - not at all! - but when i enter Luton by car or bus my heart always seems to lift. There's just something about that place that makes me ache, in a good way.

I has the most fantastic first day back in Luton these Easter hols. It was Good Friday and i went to the worship service at St Mary's in town. The atmosphere was buzzing for me - I imagined that people from all over Luton had come and there was again the breaking down of barriers between denominations and geographies. It was about peace and unity and gathering together before God. A few years ago God gave me a picture of Luton as a beautiful precious stone or jewel, which had become so encrusted with grime and dirt that it looked like just any old horrible stone, but which God wants to make shine again. He plans to chip away at that outer layer, washing and cleaning it until its beauty shows through and it can sit gloriously in the crown of God. Of course it's easy to just associate this kind of idea with the physical grime of Luton - the trash on the streets, the boarded up buildings and everything. And it is partly about that; I believe God is looking for the physical regeneration of Luton. But it is also - perhaps primarily - about the regeneratin of the people, their hearts and lives. So I found it really significant that many of the 'stations' at the worship service on Good Friday were about cleansing - repentence, removal of guilt, purification, forgiveness (my hands and feet got washed so many times that day!) The washing of this city - i use the term prophetically ;) - will begin with the washing of the people.

It fills me with so much joy to see people praying for Luton too, which was another of the stations. If anyone's reading this and has a penchant for prayer, i urge you to pray for Luton, even if you don't know it and can only give it a moment of your time right now, and especially if you live there or care about it in any way.

My First Post

First of all, happy 21st birthday to the lovely Harriet! Welcome, everyone, to my blog.